I'M CAPABLE

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I’m a 22 year Indian girl, born and brought up in a middle class family. I’m staying in the smartest city of India, Bhubaneswar. My both parents are working. My parents don’t support the gender bias, as they think so. They also encourage me to do things on my own yet always set some limits.

During my school days, all of my relatives presumed me as a shy introverted girl. Mama also forced me to show proper courtesy and to be a soft spoken person, whether the person is speaking good or ill. I never had any opinion on my own because mama told me it will harm my image along with theirs.

I loved computer science, during my eleventh standard; I opted for this course instead of biology or electronics. But my uncle said ‘Those, who study biology, are considered intelligent in our family.’ The very next day my optional subject changed to biology. Once I wore a sleeveless top with a bottom, one of my relatives told ‘girl don’t wear such clothes in our family.’ From that day onward I was prohibited to wear sleeveless dresses. I started to wear spectacles due to my eyesight problem and people considered me a studious one and I got some unnecessary attention in my class.

I asked mama to dye my hair and unexpectedly she said yes. I was astonished as well as on cloud nine. But she set some boundaries like ‘don’t apply any bright or light color. It will make you look bold.” And I understood she was saying no in an indirect manner. Once I heard from my friend that one of the guys from my class had a crush on me and all of my friends stated that now he has high income and you’ll be happy. What is the role of money in my happiness? Why most of the people think that girls fall for rich guys.   

Sometimes these things feel so worthless and I can’t pretend to be someone in my whole life. It takes five seconds to classify people based on their look but it takes so much time to change your impression. I always wondered what has my looks have to do with my personality. My friends think I’m a sweet, soft spoken, immature and studious girl who loves to stay aloof. My relatives think of me as a homely girl and they often say that I’ll become a great wife. My society thinks of me as a nature loving introverted girl who is well fitted for their so called society. Nobody cares about my real side. They love to pass their judgments but never realize the impact on us. I can’t say I’ve overcome all these stereotypes but I’ve managed to change some people’s opinion by constantly interacting and giving my point of views.  I learned one thing ‘be bold enough to speak up.’ I’m wearing clothes on my own not according to anyone’s choice. No one has the right to judge me on my looks.      

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the Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India reveals:

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

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I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.

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THE IMPACT

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During my eleventh standard I met my first crush. He was the most charming boy in my class, whereas I was the shy girl; with my big glass, braces on my teeth. At the first meeting I felt drawn towards him, I never realized when the mere infatuation turned into intense feeling. I always stalked him on Facebook, never miss a single chance to give comment on his status and photos. I changed my optional computer to biology because he was in biology class.

With my only friend's advise I wrote a letter to him confessing my love for him, but I didn’t mention my name in that letter. The letter circled the whole class, but couldn’t reach at him that day. The next day when he read that letter, I was desperately waiting for his reactions. After reading it, he laughed a little and announced, “So many grammatical errors! ‘Dwelling’ and ‘envious’ spellings are also wrong.” Everybody joined with his laugh. I felt broken, he could’ve seen my feelings instead he saw the grammatical mistakes.

 I didn’t lose my hope. I drew my inspiration from that and started to study hard just to gain his attention. My grades improved as well as my friend circles. But still I failed to attract his attention. I thought he only talked with pretty girls. And I got another inspiration. I decided for a makeover; I removed my braces and glass. I was wearing glasses because I thought it would make me look studious. I got a new hair cut. For the first time I thought I was looking pretty.

The next day I got many complements about my new looks and boys started to notice me. But he walked past me without giving me a second glance. I turned to see him talking with the music club members. So I thought he talked with popular students.

There I decided to join a club and participate in some activities. That was my third inspiration, I joined the dance club. Dance and art are the two things I’m good at. I practiced a lot and won several competitions, I was even chosen as the president of the dance club. But I was yet to receive any attention from him.

The days passed by and on the last day of my twelfth board exam I decided to face him. But due to lack of my confidence I couldn’t, that night I revealed every truth about my feelings and that letter. The next thing I know he blocked me from his account. That was the last time I saw him. That moment made me optimistic about life. Rejection is one critical part of life but I converted that rejection into optimism.  

During my school days I have seen many ups and downs; I have swallowed many rejections from him and always found my inspirations from that rejection. The impact of those rejections were great; I gained my confidence because of him. He remained as a vivid memory in my life. I came to know some great things like ‘not every story has a happy ending.’ And ‘rejections can be taken positively.’ He converted me to an optimistic person.

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This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

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IMPACT OF 2015 ON MY LIFE

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I got my graduation degree on 2015. My last days at college were awesome; I felt a lot of emotions at a same time like departing from friends, missing my college days and the fun at being in college, excited about my future and worried about my future planning. I got my offer letter at the end of April during my eight semester exam. I joined the company on May. I had started my journey with lots of enthusiasm and questions in my mind. I was one of few lucky fellows who got their friends as their room-mates. I was stunned to see the campus; the buildings were too large that my eyes couldn’t reach. The surroundings were too clean that you can’t find a drop of dust and our extra facility rooms that looked like five-star hotel rooms.  

I had never been away from my home before but I had to spend five months in that campus away from my family. The first thing I learned there is to control my emotions over small matters. That gave impact to my personality and helped me to be a strong person.  During our exam times I had to work hard to avoid the fear of termination. First time I realized, during my school and college days I invested money to read hard but I didn’t try hard, while during my training time I was paid money to study and I gave my hundred percent  to studies. That made me learn another thing, without hard work you can’t achieve your goal. That had impact on me to be a better person and taught me the importance of money in one's life.

I traveled to Coorg with my friends. On our way we headed to an adventure park. Personally I’m not a big fan of adventures, but that day my friends forced me to try skydiving. After so many refusals I finally gave up and tried that. It felt so amazing to fly like a bird. That moment I learned to live each and every moment of your life without caring much about future and face your fears to overcome it instead of running away. Every day is not a happy one; some are sad, some are painful, some are stressful and some are boring. I joined my posting location and got my project after the waiting for about one n half months. During that time I learned to become patience. And after getting my project I had learned to balance both my professional life as well as my personal life.  I resumed my blogging after joining the office.

Small incidents taught me great things and had impact highly on my lifestyle. The year 2015 helped me to become mature enough to handle any kind of situations. Now I’m looking forward to 2016 to see what it will impact on my lifestyle.

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This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.


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A GIFT TO SELF

Dear Me,

Happy birthday. I’m happy to have you as my companion. You have seen different shades of me and none other than you know my darkest secrets. You have acknowledged the real me. So this birthday I have decided to give you a gift from my heart.

• Don’t you realize you’re unique, though you always try hard to be different?
• Don’t you grasp the fact that you have a set of fans and followers? You cherish them as much as they love you.
• Don’t you always wonder ‘how I’m looking?’ But dear, your confidence and personality doesn’t rely on your beauty. You are one of the prettiest girl by heart.
• Don’t ever think that you’re leading an aimless life because you are the sole believer of ‘everything happens for a reason.’
• Don’t be insecure as I’m always with you in your ups and downs.

You have strived every day to be a better person than yesterday, to always show kindness. I appreciate that. You know how to smile in your toughest situations, not to reveal your real emotions in front of others. I salute that. You feel excited over small things and sometimes talk like a kid. I adore that. You cry like a baby and sometimes seek little attention. I laugh at that. You always get ready to click some selfies and love to spend time in front of mirror. I admire that.

Remember one thing no matter what, I love you always.

 

From,                                                                                                                                                             your companion in solitude

 

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MY 2015 TALE

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2015 was a big year for me. I graduated from college and immediately got my offer letter to join the company. That year helped me to become responsible, workaholic and mature. My story started with my journey with my family in train with lots of enthusiasm and question in my mind. My close friend was also traveling with her family in the same train. Together we stepped into company campus with offer letter in our hand. We waited patiently for our turn to get the keys of our new room. And with luck we both turned out to be room-mates. We entered our new room, jumped, hugged each other tightly and with over excitement together we broke my cupboard. We explored the campus, till we got shoe bites. With each passing days our friendship got stronger and we started to see each other in different eyes.

I got new friends from my generic (before getting into a domain) class and got some fan followers as well. My enjoyment soon came to an end when my first exam date arrived. The exams were not like my college exams and there was always the fear of failing. I studied hard and learned a lesson that you can’t dream with open eyes without any hard work. One of my wish got fulfilled when I traveled with my friends to Coorg. I felt brave when my room-mate and I explored the city Bangalore for the first time. I had to parted from my generic friends as I promoted to stream (when you assign to a domain) class. Again I made new set of friends and got habituated to the panic attacks before exams.

My days went on feeling the happiness on getting result, feeling the power of freedom, chitchatting with friends at mid night and playing pranks on my friends. All that came to an end when my room-mate got her posting location, while I got re-skill (that means they will teach you another domain) and that meant I had to spend one month extra without her. I remember those days when one by one my friends started to depart the campus and I went to see-off them. I wept silently for days alone in my room. That was when I realized how much dependent I had become on my room-mate.

There is a say that happy days are coming and that happened exactly, I started to enjoy my re-skill days though the study was not a successful one. Finally, the day arrived for which I along with 89 other re-skill trainees waited, our release date. I was on cloud nine because first I hadn’t met my family for about six months and second my room-mate and I got the same posting location. I returned home as soon as possible leaving Mysore behind and keeping all the sweet and sour memories in my heart.

Those were the golden months of my life when I laughed, wept, had my break down, enjoyed to my fullest, bunked classes, studied hard, celebrated birthdays, struggled to survive, shopped my heart out, saw the ups and downs, felt the gain and loss, experienced the fear of failing and learned to be independent. 2015 is one of the best years for me. If I stand in front of mirror, I see a matured me.

I’m sharing my #TalesOf2015 with BlogAdda.

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MY DIARY (#12)

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Dear Blog,

It’s been a long time since I share with you something. These days I’m feeling lost, broken and a thousand of negative thoughts playing on my mind. Sometimes I feel like a wallflower, lost in the crowd. Sometimes I feel like standing at the edge of the world; one step ahead, I’ll fall hard. I’m faking smile these days. I’m behaving like 'I'm doing well', but the truth is I’m not.

I want someone to hold me, hug me and let me cry. Before two days one of my friends asked me what I expect from her. To be frank, I don’t know what to expect and how to expect. I have experience of getting hurt through expectation and hope. So I’m afraid of that. I was hurt so many times, but hate to show it.

‘Every smiling face is not happy inside.’

I’m not emotionally stable, as told by my friends. I always end up showing wrong emotions at wrong times. Sometimes controlling my emotions seem difficult for me; for a moment I laugh uncontrollably and for a moment I want to close myself within me.

I want to release my tiredness, and my friends are really helping me without acknowledging it. Next time I want to stand at the edge of the world to spread my wings of happiness.

See you again  

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

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MY DIARY (#11)

Dear Blog,

This evening I held my brush and with little bit inspiration from internet I renewed my imaginations into picture.

Well, I'm not that great painter

See you again,

Appy

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