REDUCING GENDER PREJUDICES

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My mama gets up at 4 am in the morning. She brushes her teeth and started to sweep the whole house. Then, came to the kitchen and started preparing food for our Tiffin and lunch. You all must be confused by now why she started preparing for the meal this early? Well, my mother is a teacher and she left the house at 6:30 am. So before that she has to prepare lunch. She comes back home at 12:30 pm and after that she has to finish the washing the dirty plates, pots and pans. She checks the home work copies, makes the study plan and updates the attendance sheet. Then she goes to make some Tiffin for the evening. Then she watches some daily soaps and again goes to the kitchen for dinner. It’s her daily routine.

She only feels a little relax on Sundays, but that day also laundry work occupies her. Sometimes I help her with laundry like washing in machines and folding clothes. She gives iron to the clothes. With her age, once she was thinking to resign from her job; teaching was her passion and with the approval of all our family members she was in her job for about twenty years. She said it was difficult for her to maintain both official and household works. I asked, “You are doing every house chores as well as maintaining your school work. At least can’t papa help you with laundry? At least he can wash the clothes in the machine and fold the clothes with me.”

My mama laughed a little and said, “But you are helping me na... So no need to ask your father about laundry.” I couldn’t resist my irritation any more. “But mama Sometimes I have my exams, seminars and presentations. That time you do all the work by yourself and why can’t I ask papa?”

She faced down not meeting my gaze. “You can’t ask him. It was like this and I think it will be always like this.”  “No mama It will not always be like this. I will talk to papa.” I assured her.

I share everything with my parents. I also consider that my papa is little understanding in nature.  So I was not nervous to ask him. That evening when my papa was enjoying his tea, I sat in front of him. After a few minutes of usual talk I started the main topic, “Papa, mama is doing all the house chores along with her school works. I think she needs some help.”

“So she needs a maid? Okay, I will arrange one.” Papa replied with a casual tone.

“No papa. I mean you can help her.” Papa laughed out loud. “You want me to help her doing house chores?” “Yes papa, actually I want it. But I think you can help her with the laundry.” I tried to be confident. “You know dear, men don’t do these works.” I couldn’t believe he said those words.

“Where it is written that men can’t do the household works? It’s just your ego, that’s why you are uttering those words. I thought you would understand the situation.” Breaking that stereotype was a challenge for me. I knew this is not papa's fault, he also learnt it from his childhood. He  But, I didn't give up. 

“Did your mama ask you to tell me all these things?” before he could complete his sentence I commented, “I’m saying this and will you like it after my marriage, I have to maintain my corporate work as well as my household work and when I will ask my husband to help me, he will tell me the same thing as you told me now?”

Papa thought for a moment and replied, “Okay, I will initiate by washing clothes in machine only.” I hugged my papa and congratulate me for my small victory, though I have way more to go. After that day my papa helps in laundry work.  These days he is ironing his own clothes and helping mama in making lunch. 

However, I was able to change the mentality in my home. But, now also we're seeing such mentality in most families.

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

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