Thursday 26 March 2015

DEFINED BY OTHERS: Book review



About the Book:

A word, a single word defines a moment for Anne. She needs to find a new one when her spouse leaves her at the age of 47, coming out of the closet literally in a closet. She finds herself back in her hometown amongst her high school friends which she left behind in her past.

An inheritance from a friend leaves her with the means to meddle and spy on the lives of some of their mutual acquaintances. In an attempt to run from her reality Anne gets engrossed in a game of "fun" and "flirtation" with her friend and fellow sufferer Connie at her side. Anne however did not read all the files and what to her is fun games turns into a deadly reality. It is no longer a game.

Life, death and not even a defining word can stop the reality of manipulation.


Buy Links:
Goodreads I Amazon

My Thoughts:

I was drawn towards this book due to its unique name. It was a quick read for an afternoon. The more I go deep into the story, the more I wanted to know what’ll happen next. The plot was simple yet eye catching and sole. Some books take you to their world, make you feel connected with the characters and leave a deep impression on you. This book is one of those kind. I didn’t want that story to end.

The author’s writing is crisp and brilliant. The author portrayed the characters of the story intriguingly. I felt somehow connected to Anne; due to her past trauma, crisis and the inheritance from her high school buddy Amanda, she committed some crimes and interferes in other lives. I found different shades of Anne in the story. This book leads you to an appalling and surprising end and will leave an imprint on your soul.

“Defined by others” is an amusing and beautiful book, that will take you to its tale about two mid forties women finding themselves in a world they created. They created some secrets and tangled in between that. 

I would recommend it to those who love to read lost love, revenge, spiritual and friendship. This book gives you an idea about ‘sometimes what we picture about someone, is not correct’. I would like to give it 4 out of 5 stars.


   

Character Sketches:

The characters in Defined by Others are predominantly women. They are all flawed and for the most part very superficial. Some of their flaws are surprising and others are logical.
I chose women born in the year 1965, I did this to work with a play on Chinese Astrology.  I made them 47 years old as the book takes place in 2012, one of the characteristics of female snakes according to Chinese Astrology is that they are all very beautiful.

I wanted characters that were superficial and very worried about their physique and how others see them; thus being defined by the opinions of others.

The women have a connection as teens from growing up in the same affluent town in the American Northeast. The story is fueled by who they are at 47 and who they were at 17.

ANNE is one of the main characters and the story is told from her point of view, in her voice. She is fluent in many languages and loves words. She likes to define every moment with just one word. Her husband recently left her, and he left her broken and confused. Divorce is hard at any age, but divorce because the man you shared almost two decades with realizes he is gay must be brutal
Anne has a nice side, she is forgiving of her husband, she tries to get into his skin and appreciate that his confusion, she is still however so confused and vulnerable that when life presents her with a way to make other’s suffer as she has, she is pretty quick to grab it.
She has adolescent twins, she is however a very detached parent, as the story evolves she identifies that she continued the family pattern with which she was raised.
In the course of the story she has to make numerous life changing decisions. Anne is in a journey of self-discovery and she has likable and dark traits.

CONNIE is also a main character, she is curiously linked to Anne because her respective husbands have fallen for each other and left them. Connie has been carrying the pain and confusion longer than Anne. She is broken and lonely and in Anne she sees the possibility of a friend, ally or at the very least fellow sufferer.
Like Anne she does not blame the man who left her, and respects that as the father of her children, she needs to wish him nothing but the very best.
She loves to nurture and to cook. She goes completely against her nurturing nature as the story evolves, because she is so hurt, confused and unbalanced.
As much as Connie chooses to also manipulate those she sees as her foes, there is a very tender and likable side to Connie. She loves her children very deeply and is very lost when the main focus of her life changes; she was born to be the quintessential mom.

AMANDA is dead, during the entire story-line she manipulates with her legacy from the very grave. She was ravaged by an illness that magnified her negative traits, and if the other characters are to be believed there was nothing positive about Amanda.
As the story progresses I do give Amanda a background a reason to be so dark, I did so because otherwise the character would be too flat or cartoon like as an image of pure evil.
During her illness she devices away to be cruel and most involved with the women in her past and present. Upon her death (not a spoiler this is the opening of the book) she leaves her “game” to Anne, it is a game of manipulation and deceit through social media.

ALLISON is mean, she identified as Amanda’s mean girl side-kick but she too is a victim of the manipulation game. I have had readers contact me, and it is indeed Allison they seem to dislike the most, I did not feel a need to give her as much depth or an excuse for her nastiness, as she is a secondary character. I just wanted to show that although she is vulnerable, she is also a natural leader.
She is clever and assumes she is far cleverer than she really is. As I wrote Defined by Others I did want Allison to be a sort of live walking continuum to Amanda’s nasty side.

PETER is the only male in the story who is very present, the husbands are in the sidelines. Peter is a lawyer, he connects with Anne at the beginning of the book as Amanda’s lawyer.
He is kind and understanding, he falls for Anne and he falls hard, he is also divorced and as such looking for a new way to fit in. He is not privy to Anne and Connie’s machinations, but he does suspect they are up to no good.
I wanted Peter to be a very easy man to love, intelligent, successful, and vulnerable. I had to make him vulnerable by having his ex drop him in a cruel and hurtful way. I made him Amanda’s reluctant lawyer so that he would be aware that Anne had inherited something odd and questionable from Amanda, I did not want to turn him into a detective, he needed some level of awareness to make him believable.
I also had him fall in love with Anne, but fall in love with Connie’s cooking and thus forming a strong bond with both women.

MRS. G. (Anne’s mother) is a character that is as much represented by her dialogue and appearances throughout the story as she is by her “secret room”. Mrs. G. was a liberal adventuresome lady who is also defined by others, and as such she pretends to be as conservative as those who surround her world.

She has a special room, full of New Age Books and other secrets, she is as such very present throughout the story.

About the Author:


M.C.V. Egan is the pen name chosen by Maria Catalina Vergara Egan the author of The Bridge of Deaths and Defined by Others. Catalina is originally from Mexico City, Mexico. She has lived in France, Sweden and various parts of the U.S.A.
She has called South Florida her home for the last twenty-five years; she is a writer, a mother a wife and a pretty good cook.

Her first book The Bridge of Deaths is available in two different versions, her book Defined by Others is the first in a series Defining Ways exploring what makes us flawed and human.

Book two Climbing Up The Family Tree; Defined by Pedigree will be released in November 2015.



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Monday 23 March 2015

MY EXPERIENCE ON #WashBucketChallenge


Before six days, I got a parcel from Blogadda. I gave that parcel to papa and told ‘a gift for you’. He accepted the parcel with a confused look and unwrap the parcel to find a sample of ‘Ariel Matic’. He asked me, "What is this?"

“Papa, you promised me to help mama with laundry, so let’s wash tomorrow. And now it’s your turn to surprise mama.”  Papa smiled, nodded a yes and expressed, “It’s such a unique gift I have received till now. Okay, deal. Let’s wash tomorrow, but you have to teach me.” I did a thumbs up pose and shouted, “Deal.”

Next day papa had some work, so we postponed it until evening. In the evening we father and daughter stood in front of our washing machine. I cut the packet of Ariel and handed our pile of clothes to papa. He tossed the clothes in the washing machine and added some Ariel Matic powder.

He switched on the power button and the water started to flow inside it. He covered up the machine and the further cleaning work done by the machine. We both waited for the beep of the machine and meanwhile we gulped some snacks. I clicked several pictures of papa to remember this moment.

I found the texture of washing powder is rich and it is not sticking with clothes. After the beeping of the machine, papa took all the clothes out of the machine. He used hangers to dry the wet clothes. Papa and I did a high five. Papa declared, “I did it! I kept my promise and your mama will be surprised.” I gave him an assured smile. “Actually papa, it’s the first phase. After that you have to iron it and fold it.” He said, “You never mentioned about those. I have completed the wiping job.”

I laughed and informed, “Papa, let’s complete the task, no?” He agreed and the next day he ironed his shirts and pants. Mama was more than happy, she was speechless for a moment and then tears of joy slithered on her cheek. Mama beamed with joy and happiness.

For me it was one of the best experience, I got to spend some time with my papa. We both did the job like an assignment, though I only instructed. This is how I took the #WashBucketChallenge. I have clicked some pictures of him doing the laundry.





I'm nominating 5 people to take up the #WashBucketChallenge. 
1. Anita S, blogs at The explorer of miracle
2. Pratikshya Mishra, blogs at Magic moments
3. Tapasi Palo, blogs at Unraveling the path to eternity
4. Sangeeta Raghu, blogs at Sangry Words
5. Cifar Shayar, blogs at The other side.

 'This post is a part of the #WashBucketChallenge activity at BlogAdda.com is association with Ariel India' in your blog post.

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THEME REVEAL (SHOULD I KEEP IT???)



I was thinking about the theme for the whole three days; First thing, whether to keep a theme or not. Should I keep it ‘micro fiction’ or ‘poems’ or ‘fictions’ or ‘love stories’? I’m an avid fiction reader and love to write fictions.  I’m also thinking to try haikus.

To make a balance between my mind and heart, I have decided to keep my theme ‘My College Diary’. My posts for 'A to Z challenge' will be a series of fictions (I will try to keep it within 300 words) with some life lessons, I learned.Every post is inspired from my college life and experiences. 


This is my first attempt for A to Z challenge. Hope I will survive till the end.  

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Sunday 22 March 2015

MY DIARY (#12)


Source: Google

Dear Blog,

It’s been a long time since I share with you something. These days I’m feeling lost, broken and a thousand of negative thoughts playing on my mind. Sometimes I feel like a wallflower, lost in the crowd. Sometimes I feel like standing at the edge of the world; one step ahead, I’ll fall hard. I’m faking smile these days. I’m behaving like 'I'm doing well', but the truth is I’m not.

I want someone to hold me, hug me and let me cry. Before two days one of my friends asked me what I expect from her. To be frank, I don’t know what to expect and how to expect. I have experience of getting hurt through expectation and hope. So I’m afraid of that. I was hurt so many times, but hate to show it.


‘Every smiling face is not happy inside.’

I’m not emotionally stable, as told by my friends. I always end up showing wrong emotions at wrong times. Sometimes controlling my emotions seem difficult for me; for a moment I laugh uncontrollably and for a moment I want to close myself within me.

I want to release my tiredness, and my friends are really helping me without acknowledging it. Next time I want to stand at the edge of the world to spread my wings of happiness.

See you again  

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Selected for WOW Badge

   


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Sunday 15 March 2015

THE SOUL SEEKER



Source: Google Images


It believes my heart is a sight,
Cold as ice, and black as night.
It’s not my heart, only my soul,
But killing me is its goal.

It is getting close for me to know,
I really don’t want that far to go.
Soon I’ll reach my end,
It’ll  have my soul, to tear and rend.

It didn’t cared for my grief,
But I won’t let go my strive.
I can’t face the bitter truth,
I must keep up, my pretense of youth.



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Saturday 14 March 2015

WE DID IT TOGETHER

Source: Housing.com

There was a time in my life when I found myself grasping at straws to stay afloat. It was a significant turn in my life. I was in class eight and I was selected from my school for the inter dance festival, a state level competition. Just the day before my competition I broke my leg in an accident. Unfortunately, I had to withdraw my name from that competition. Many gossips were evolved regarding my withdrawal. I felt broken and lost. It was hard for me to accept the failure without even trying. I felt guilty and my anger converted into fear.

My whole world changed during that one month. I was afraid if some of my friends were gossiping behind my back, if some were criticizing me. Somehow my dreams of becoming a great dancer had already shattered. I quite from my dance class and started to avoid people. Soon my popularity status changed into not so popular status.

That year ended and on the summer vacation, papa joined me in a yoga class. That also didn’t help me in building my confidence. One day papa asked me if I love to dance or not. I truthfully admitted that I love to dance, but afraid of stage and people’s gaze. Then papa told me to find the strength and confidence in criticism.

I had lost my confidence on my leg and it was been eight months since that accident had occurred. At first it was hard to try, but I gathered my will power and rejoined the dance class. My papa was always there to support me, guide me, motivate me and hold me. When I entered the class the whole students glared at me as if I was an alien. I took that positively and considered that due to my uniqueness and pretty face students were glaring at me.

The days passed by and I regained my confidence on my leg and I had to move to my second step. My second step was to perform on a stage. My dance teacher arranged a competition for me and my performance was scheduled.

Papa assured me, “Remember dear, I’m always with you. There is no need to worry about the result. I won’t mind if you don’t win this competition. I want you to gather your shattered dreams, find your optimism and be an optimistic person like you used be. I know together we can do it.” 

On the performance day I got nervous on the stage and forgot two steps. The whole audience disapproved my performance. I went numb, but soon noticed papa stood in front of the stage and cheering me up and at that time I had found my optimism and strength. I continued my remaining steps after a few seconds. My mind was shouting I can do it and my heart co-operated with my mind. The music as well as my steps ended and I took my final position. After a few seconds of silence the audience got up clapping, shouting and cheering for me.



‘I did it. No, We did it papa.’, a thought formed on my mind and smile came across my face. Papa used to tell me, ‘The best way to win over your fear is to face it’. That day remained as the most memorable day of my life. I found my hope for dance and life. I rediscover my optimistic personality. I became bright and daring due to that incident. Papa helped me to look up and follow my heart, will power.


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Tuesday 10 March 2015

CHANGE


Source: Housing.com

I was the most socially ill-equipped and maybe the most boring person ever during my school days. My friends actually knew how to dress up and look pretty, where I with big glass and braces on my teeth didn’t know the basic of trendy look. I had two best friends at that time and the whole class used to call me double battery. In that year I got the taste of my first crush. He used to be a charming and most handsome person in our school. Most of the girls were following him all around, hoping for a glimpse, but I was the lucky one he asked for my friendship. And of course I accepted it gratefully. I had never dared to give him any clue about my feelings. The days passed by and I had started to develop inferior feelings about my look and complexion. I feared of rejection. I shared my feelings with my best friends. At first they laughed, but when they sensed I was serious they gave me some tips about my makeover. I had tried so many methods; I cut my hair, removed my braces and applied turmeric paste on my face. Though the glow came in my face, but I was still lacking in developing self confidence. I wanted to improve my attitude, but only motivation wasn’t working for me. So I decided to give up on my attitude and concentrate on studies as my board exams were approaching.

I had never studied that hard in my entire life and appeared my exam with a smile on my face.  It is well said that ‘Hard work is the key to success.’  Well, I got 95% on my board exam and got admitted in the same school for eleventh standard.

****
On my 12th standard my friends forced me to confess my feelings for him. I declined their request by saying I can’t take the rejection. But the truth was I couldn’t develop my self confidence for confession. Slowly and steadily I understood that I have to reveal my feelings.

I considered the ‘now’ or ‘never’ situation. I made a slid show telling why I love him, and played it secretly in our assembly room.  The whole class, including teacher witnessed my bold attempt. I didn’t reveal my name in that. So the teacher searched for the main culprit, but failed to find it and thus suspended the whole class for two days.

That day I realized my growing confidence, so I made my mind to reveal everything and took the rejection positively. I called him to the nearest park and explained everything. He was stunned to hear all this. Though he didn’t accept my proposal, but we still remained friends. After 12th board exam, we parted our paths. 
    
My transformation led me a confident lifestyle. I was able to leave behind my past and went on the path of present. I got placed in a very well known company and I got an invitation for school get together party. I never expected to see him again at that party. He hadn’t changed a bit; same charming look, flirty smile and full of energy. He came closer to me and said, “You look different. I mean you have changed.”

“Define different?” I asked with confident look. We both laughed and talked for hours.

This post is written for #StartANewLife. Visit @Housing.com(https://housing.com/.) and watch the video



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Saturday 7 March 2015

THE UNSENT LETTERS


Source: Google Image



Dear mama,
Today I once again asked papa about you, but as usual papa changed the topic. I didn’t cry today as I’m your brave princess... Every time I ask about you he gets furious and hurriedly leaves the house for some time. Sometimes I feel like he is trying to run away from me.
You know my every friend are bringing delicious Tiffin, they are also giving credit to their mama. But I don’t mind taking always bread and butter. I just need you by my side to hold me if I’ll sick and pick me if I fall. 

I miss you at the parents-teacher meeting, where all my friends come with their parents. I want to show you my grade sheet. I got 1st position in my seventh grade. Recently I heard some of my classmates talked about you, they said that you are not in the world anymore, that you are dead... I got angry and beat a few of them. Later that day principle called papa and I saw the disappointment in his eyes. I had embarrassed papa. On our way out he didn’t utter a word even though I begged for forgiveness and explained the whole situation.

It’s been three long years you went for your trip. Where are you mama? How are you? There are so many more things I want to ask, I want to share. Don’t you miss your princess? If you can’t make it to home any sooner, then can you call me? I want to hear your voice. Waiting for your reply mama... 

With love,                                                                                                                                   Your princess...

She then folded the letter and put in an envelope. A tear slithered down her cheek. She wiped it and marched towards his father. She handed the letter with puffy eyes. “Papa, can you mail it to mama? I know this time she will definitely reply me.” she said with pure confidence. Her father took the letter and attempted to smile.

**********
Her father went to the study room and sat across a window. Thousand of memories flashed in his mind. His beloved went on a trip before three years ago. The next day he got a call about his wife’s accident. He hurried towards that place only to find the lifeless, motionless body of his wife. That day he cried his heart out. Till now he couldn’t omit this painful memory. He couldn’t buy himself to tell this to his princess. He knew his princess was hoping something that would never get true... With that thought he placed that unsent letter in the drawer of his table along with seventeen more letters, which were also written by his princess.

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Friday 6 March 2015

HAPPY BABY



Source: Google Image



We all know that babies are the active and energetic members in a house; they always keep you busy with their activities. That’s why it is said that ‘A child has a special way of adding joy to everyday!’ Everyone love babies when they play and laugh with you but sometimes baby's cry can also irritate you. Babies stay happy if their mood is good. 


Before someday my cousin visited our house with her seven month old baby. The baby slept peacefully whole evening, but started to cry at our bed time. Stopping his cries had seemed an impossible mission to carry out. But we had managed to soothe him properly after a long try.

The next day we managed to feed him properly as empty stomach may lead the baby to frustration and the baby will end up crying again. We let him sleep for some hours. When he woke up, he started to smile. I and my sister danced in front of him and he seemed to enjoy it. I danced the ‘paa movie’ step and my sister danced like a bird. The baby clapped, created a hummed sound and laughed; my cousin captured that moment by clicking some of his pictures and made some videos.


We have a pet black cat, his name is Blaty. At first we thought the baby would be afraid of Blaty but the opposite occurred. He crawled back and forward to catch Blaty and Blaty was running and hiding; sometimes under the sofa, sometimes under the bed and sometimes in the kitchen. That moment was so hilarious, we trio burst out laughing. We figured out that he loved to catch Blaty.


That whole day we played with the baby, capturing our pictures, singing and dancing crazy steps. We helped my cousin in baby’s bath. Then my cousin said the baby needed some feeding; so mama ferried him and my cousin started to spoon feed him. The whole house seemed energetic because the baby’s smile never vanished. After feeding, my cousin mumbled a lullaby and within minutes he fell asleep.

Mama asked my cousin why she is not changing his diaper. To answer mama’s question she said, ‘I have used a good quality dry diaper, it can last up to 12 hours. So don’t worry about that.” Then again mama said, “You should remove his diaper, because some diapers give emphasize on outer dryness and inner wetness leads to rashes.” My cousin answered, “No, I’m using such diaper, which not only maintains outer dryness but also inner dryness, its magic Gel locks in moisture so that baby’s skin remains dry and healthy. That’s why he was playing peacefully till now and with this quality of the diaper there is very less chance for rashes.”

I realized the diaper plays a vital role in every baby’s life. The baby’s mood depends upon the dryness or wetness of the diaper.   

Visit the site of pamper(http://www.rewardme.in/tag/Pampers.) and watch the video to know more about baby's diaper.
       


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Thursday 5 March 2015

OPTIMISTIC GIRL

Source: Google image
 I met him during my school days. He was the most charming boy in my class, whereas I was the below average looking girl; with my big glass, braces on my teeth. At the first meeting I felt drawn towards him, I never realized when the mere infatuation turned into intense feeling. I always stalked him on Facebook, never miss a single chance to give comment on his status and photos.

 Once I wrote a letter to him confessing my love for him, but I didn’t mention my name in that letter. The letter circled the whole class, but couldn’t reach at him that day. The next day when he read that letter, I was desperately waiting for his reactions. After reading it, he laughed a little and announced, “So many grammatical errors! ‘Dwelling’ and ‘envious’ spellings are also wrong.” Everybody joined with his laugh. I felt broken, he could’ve seen my feelings instead he saw the grammatical mistakes.

 I didn’t lose my hope. I drew my inspiration from that and started to study hard just to gain his attention. My grades improved as well as my friend circles. But still I failed to attract his attention. I thought he only talked with pretty girls. And I got another inspiration. I decided for a makeover; I removed my braces and glass. I was wearing glasses because I thought it would make me look studious. I got a new hair cut. For the first time I thought I was looking pretty.

The next day I got many complements about my new looks and boys started to notice me. But he walked past me without giving me a second glance. I turned to see him talking with the music club members. So I thought he talked with popular students.

There I decided to join a club and participate in some activities. That was my third inspiration, I joined the dance club. Dance and art are the two things I’m good at. I practiced a lot and won several competitions, I was even chosen as the president of the dance club. But I was yet to receive any attention from him.

The days passed by and on the last day of my twelfth board exam I decided to face him. But due to lack of my confidence I couldn’t, that night I revealed every truth about my feelings and that letter. The next thing I know he blocked me from his account. That was the last time I saw him. That moment made me optimistic about life. Rejection is one critical part of life but I converted that rejection into optimism.  

During my school days I have seen many ups and downs; I have swallowed many rejections from him and always found my inspirations from that rejection. I gained my confidence because of him; He remained as a vivid memory in my life. I came to know some great things like ‘not every story has a happy ending.’ And ‘rejections can be taken positively.’ He converted me to an optimistic person.

My own will power gave me strength and made me optimistic about life, love and future. I found my optimism in him. I recognized my bright, confident and daring personalities because of him.        

Source: Google Image
Visit  https://housing.com/lookup.

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Sunday 1 March 2015

BEING A SELF-RELIANT PERSON


Source: indiblogger.in


During my childhood days, I always thought my world was my parents. I depended on them for my every work. I hated to live alone for a minute, so I never let them go without me. I had an insecurity feeling for left-out-alone and I hate that.

Sometimes my parents had to go outside for their work, so they had employed a maid aunty to give me company. Time moved by and I didn’t show any interest to let go of my insecurities. My parents thought I was being too much depended on them for everything. So my mama took the initiative and made plans to make me self reliant. 
 
Once I had slept in an afternoon and suddenly heard a sound from the kitchen. My eyes flew open and I found I was alone in my house. I panicked and ran towards the main door only to find it was locked from outside. My brain didn’t work for some time, so I ran towards the land telephone, but only to realize I didn’t know their number. Tears were already found their way out, then again, I heard the same noise from the kitchen. That time all the demon stories played on my mind. I looked my surroundings and grabbed a racket. I tiptoed towards the kitchen, slowly opened the door, found the window was open and a cute cat was drinking milk from a pot.

My fear turned into laughter, I sat on the sofa and turned on the music player. After sometime mama came and asked my experience. I pouted at her and told in a stern voice, “it wasn’t that bad.” I also asked her mobile number and remember it.

The next step was to serve food for myself. I ignored it at first, but one day mama told me she wasn’t feeling well, so she can’t serve for me. I waited for some time only to find my appetite was increasing. Then I served for myself and realize this job is not that difficult. From that day onwards I served my own food.

Slowly and steadily I learned how to lock the door, how to wash my clothes in the machine and how to fold after wash clothes. I remember when for the first I made tea for my papa, he complimented me by saying, “Lovely tea dear!  You just forgot to add sugar, otherwise It’s nice.” When for the first time I learned to iron clothes, I burnt one of my papa’s shirts and he said, “It’s okay, I wasn’t going to wear that anymore. But glad you learned it.”

Source: Google Image



I believe in my belief that I’m a self-reliant person due to mama’s hard effort and papa’s supports.  She encouraged me, when I needed it. She motivated me by telling stories and setting real world examples. I reinvent myself properly due to mama; she also taught me how and when to be shy or bold.

Visit  http://www.hdfclife.com/.  and watch this lovely video.



Linking it to Write Tribe's World Compliment Day!

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