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I met him during my school days. He was the most charming boy in my class, whereas I was the below average looking girl; with my big glass, braces on my teeth. At the first meeting I felt drawn towards him, I never realized when the mere infatuation turned into intense feeling. I always stalked him on Facebook, never missed a single chance to give comment on his status and photos.
Once I wrote a letter to him confessing my love for him, but I didn’t mention my name in that letter. The letter circled the whole class, but couldn’t reach at him that day. The next day when he read that letter, I was desperately waiting for his reactions. After reading it, he laughed a little and announced, “So many grammatical errors! ‘Dwelling’ and ‘envious’ spellings are also wrong.” Everybody joined with his laugh. I felt broken, he could’ve seen my feelings instead of grammatical mistakes.
I didn’t lose my hope. I drew my inspiration from that and started to study hard just to gain his attention. My grades improved as well as my friend circles. But still I failed to attract his attention. On a valentine’s day I send him a rose and a note saying ‘I Love You’. I kept that rose in his desk, but he gave that rose to another girl throwing the note in the garbage. The moment hurt the most as all that happened in front of me. I realized that the girl was pretty.
And I got another inspiration. I decided for a makeover; I removed my braces and glass. I was wearing glasses because I thought it would make me look studious. I got a new hair cut. For the first time I thought I was looking pretty.
The next day I got many complements about my new looks and boys started to notice me. I saw him walking towards me in the garden area. I thought finally my D-day had arrived. But he walked past me not even glancing at me. I turned to see him talking with the music club members.
There I decided to join a club and participate in some activities. That was my third inspiration, I joined the dance club. Dance and art are the two things I’m good at. I practiced a lot and won several competitions, I was even chosen as the president of the dance club. But I was yet to receive any attention from him.
I made a slid show telling why I love him, and played it secretly in our assembly room. The whole class, including teacher witnessed my first bold attempt. The teacher even searched for the main culprit, but failed to find it and thus suspended the whole class for two days.
The days passed by and on the last day of my twelfth board exam I decided to face him. But due to lack of my confidence I couldn’t, that night I messaged him on Facebook saying ‘I Love you’ and revealed every truth about my series of attempted confessions. The next thing I know he blocked me from his account. That was the last time I saw him and the first and last time I talked with him through messages.
During my school days I have seen many ups and downs; I have swallowed many rejections from him and always found my inspirations from that rejection. I gained my confidence because of him; He remained as a vivid memory in my life. I came to know some great things like ‘not every story has a happy ending.’ And ‘rejections can be taken positively.’
I’m still a blocked member in his Facebook account, but my followers have increased. He was the first one who pointed my lack of writing, now I’m writing for him in this post. Neither I thought my enthusiastic attempts for confessions were waste nor I expected something from him. I know that I recognized my shy, bold and daring personalities because of him.
P.S. - I have written this post after watching the video of 'Sound Of Love', where a guy is applying various methods to impress his lady love. This video inspired me to travel back to past and recall some vivid memory.
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